To the last Ukrainian: Why the EU doesn’t want Kiev’s draft dodgers

The bloc members are ready to sponsor their endless proxy war marathon, as long as they don’t have to sweat themselves Statehood Day in Kiev. Very important. Very historical. “So how can I make it all about me?” the EU said. Here comes Brussels to put the “hood” in “statehood” day, and bring some muscle to Kiev’s mobilization hustle. What a great opportunity for the EU to come back into town for another photo op, another summit, and another round of butt- and back-slapping. ‘Queen’ Ursula von der Leyen set the tone : “It’s a special moment. Ukraine has built a strong military momentum. The tide is turning. I will announce new initiatives to integrate our defense industries. So we can produce more, and faster. We will also discuss accession and preparations for this winter.” At this point, all those same talking points have had more comebacks than Madonna. The tide’s been turning for so long that you’d expect it to have actually arrived somewhere by now. So what’s the occasion this time, beyond pretending that you actually had Statehood Day on your calendar in Brussels? Because let’s pretend that an excuse to drop by is actually necessary, and that you’re not just the Karen of the northern hemisphere block watch. Read more Germany to deny automatic protection to Ukrainian draft dodgers – interior minister Excuse me! It’s the prestigious occasion of the fifth Ukraine-Southeast Europe Summit. Because the first four were obviously so productive that they have to fish the same talking points out of the recycling bin. Stop me if you know this one: support, integration, EU accession somewhere down the road. Ukraine’s promised path to the EU seems to consist primarily of summits announcing that the path exists. Then there’s the “Coalition of the Willing.” Which is basically the European version of the Avengers.

Except that instead of superheroes assembling, it’s the EU clown posse assembling to celebrate their assembling superpower. They also assembled in Paris, promised coordination, and produced the usual result: another round of commitments to future commitments. But hey, they’re planning some military exercises for September. Poland says that they’ll go ahead on that, with British and French troops involved. Except that Germany reportedly isn’t joining, with Berlin noting that the drills are limited and mainly staff-focused. Which is like RSVPing ‘yes’ to a wedding because you like the idea of the marriage, but in reality you just can’t be bothered. Hopefully they’ll at least have enough tact to send an Amazon gift card. And while France is stepping up as the new lead war drummer, Bulgaria seems to be looking to exit stage left. “We have exhausted our capabilities to provide military support. I mean weapons and commissions from the warehouses of the Bulgarian Armed Forces. We have provided 13 packages. We don’t have anything else to supply to Ukraine,” said Bulgarian Prime Minister Rumen Radev. Read more Bulgaria pulls out of coalition of Ukraine backers So basically he’s saying, “Look, we checked the warehouse. Do you want the broken chair that’s left in there, or what?” Then there’s the EU’s latest move on Ukrainian refugee arrivals. Europe has entered a new phase of messaging. The kind where they say the quiet part a lot less quietly. Specifically, the part about Ukrainians not being able to defend Ukraine while also kicking back on a patio somewhere in the EU. So unless you’ve already got a reservation for that patio and have been hanging out there for a while now, you can forget it. They need to first satisfy their military obligations in Ukraine amid full mobilization, the EU says. And if they happen to survive that